Spiritual Soul-Mates

OUR STORIES 

As four co-authors and two couples, our spiritual journeys have been catalyzed, stimulated, and encouraged by the companionship of our spouses (our 'soul-mates'). Through a few different spiritual study groups, we have noted that couples participating together have found the learning and growth to be beneficial as it is mutual in nature and perceived more supportively. The learning is also more applicable because it is based on practical examples and realistic challenges from the lives that most of us lead as couples and family members. Based on our experience in learning from each other in these study groups, we decided to establish this platform where we can share our experiences with other couples in order to support the journeys that many of us are on. We hope you enjoy this forum and share with us your feedback as well as your experiences along your journey to further enlighten us all!

“One soul, two bodies” is a prevalent understanding of soul-mates in society today. For many of us, this is how we define 'romantic love.'

'SOUL' IN SANATANA DHARMA*

"This Brahman is without a prior or a posterior (follower), without interior or exterior, this Atman is Brahman, the experiencer of everything." (Brihadaranyaka Upanishad 11.5.19)

According to Sanatana Dharma, the 'Atman,' our true eternal self ('soul') is not part of the material body but it becomes bound by the ego as 'jiva-Atman' through ignorance. Despite being eternal in nature, and essentially always one with the Universe, the all-soul, 'Brahman,' jiva-Atman is bound in the cycle of birth and death through a complex web of desires, attachments, delusions, which can broadly be thought of as 'maya.' It is believed that this cycle of birth and death continues till the karmic debt is paid off and the Atman is free to merge back with the universal 'Brahman' (moksha).

The popular definitions of 'soul-mates' suggest that one can recognize their soul-mate because there exists a special bond between them that transcends all material reality. In Sanatana Dharma, we believe that a 'soul-mate' is someone you have a deep-rooted, spiritual connection with. It is someone who helps you grow and evolve in all areas of your life, be it spiritually, emotionally, or intellectually.  

So, Sanatana Dharma takes a very broad view of a 'soul-mate.' It is not limited to just romantic connection but includes family, friendship or any jiva-Atman. We have seen many examples of these in our epics, the love of Rama and his brothers or Hanuman for Rama. The love of Radha for Krishna. Swami Mukundanandji suggests that the Sanskrit word to describe this is 'sambandhi,' someone with whom you have a deep connection and an eternal relationship. He also links this thought to the Gita and suggests that our ultimate sambandhi is the Lord himself in whichever form you believe Him to be. 

"I am the Supreme Goal of all living beings, and I am also their Sustainer, Master, Witness, Abode, Shelter, and Friend. I am the Origin, End, and Resting Place of creation; I am the Repository and Eternal Seed." (Bhagavad Gita 9:18)

He is the one true 'soul-mate,' with whom we have the eternal divine relationship.

TOGETHER FOR SEVEN LIVES

The Grihya Sutras mention 'saptapadi' (seven steps) that a bride and groom commit to with seven sacred vows during a traditional Hindu wedding. It is believed that these bond the couple together for seven lifetimes. This belief is based on the concepts of karma and reincarnation. Sanatan Dharma holds that partners or couples come together due to their karmic bonds. They have an opportunity to stay together and help each other evolve and develop themselves spiritually. Ideally, during each lifetime, they will progress through one of seven stages of their spiritual journey. It is then possible for them to complete their journey together through seven lifetimes as promised to one another during their wedding vows. At that point, both then dissolve their karmic obligations and are liberated** so that their Atman is free from maya and unites back with Brahman. 

GROWING TOGETHER 

Even though much of spiritual discipline is focused on growth and evolution of the individual, we can readily find examples in our lives of how our personal and spiritual growth is fostered by others — sometimes these are 'gurus' or masters, but more often, they are friends, family, or our spouses/significant others. In the company or fellowship of others, we can grow and evolve individually but also together. Through our participation in 'satsang' (divine fellowship) we learn from each other, support each other, and experience together the beauty, joy, bliss, and love that are part of the spiritual journey.

LOVE

Love itself is a concept that is helpful to define. The common day-to-day emotion that we call love is often based on external circumstance, events, chemistry, attraction, relationship, or responsibility. However, this emotion is but a limited, material, temporally and spatially bound expression of a much deeper state. The state of love is actually limitless, infinite, eternal, and unconditional — not so coincidentally, this is the same nature as our deeper Self, Atman, or Brahman. So true love — unconditional and ever flowing — though it may be triggered by a human-to-human connection, is an experience of the Divine within ourselves and in each other.

KEEP LIVING AND KEEP LOVING

It’s also perhaps the essence of Sanatana Dharma which emphasizes that no one has to leave their family and the world behind to retreat into the mountains, forest, or ashram to find themselves. It’s quite feasible, if not actually suggested, to continue living our lives within the material world and with our loved ones, just infused with a deeper understanding of Self and Love; as well as an appreciation for the mechanisms which allow us to transcend relationships based on fear and attachment and replace them with Love and Freedom.

"The Atman is not attained by the study of the Vedas, nor by intelligence, nor by much learning. He who chooses Atman—by him alone is Atman attained. He who fails to find the self by oneself incurs the penalty of remaining in the cycle of birth and death." (Mundaka Upanishad 3:2)

In conclusion, the expression "one soul, two bodies" is simply and magnificently an expression of love that transcends material connections.

* Sanatana Dharma is the 'eternal truth' of Hinduism which is in alignment with the Universal Truth of all religions. 

** However, this is not easily achievable by all or even by many. One example is in the Mahabharata. The tale reaches its culmination point as the Pandavas are on their final stretch towards Mount Sumeru. It is interesting to note that the Pandava brothers give up their mortal life one by one, separately from each other, starting with Draupadi.